A little boy one night was struggling to fall asleep; the winds and the pending thunderstorms were causing him to be afraid and restless. He yelled out to his parents, "Mom, dad, I'm scared! I need you." Attempting to not make too big a deal of the situation, they yelled back down the hall, "Everything is okay; God 's right there with you, get some sleep." This back and forth conversation went on for quite some time until finally the little boy yelled back to his parents, "I know God is here, but I need God with skin on!"
We have students in our lives daily who hurt and struggle as well as face daily challenges; we try to reassure them that we care, that we believe in them, and that we have a hope for their life and future. However, I think many of those students need much more than just our words; they need hope with skin on. Research tells us that kids who have a mentor are 52% less likely to drop out of school, 46% less likely to use drugs, 52% less likely to exhibit violent behavior, and teen pregnancy is reduced by 35%. In terms of educational achievement, mentored youth have better school attendance and a better chance of going on to higher education. On the social and developmental front, taking part in mentoring practices promotes positive attitudes and relationships (Child Trends: Mentoring: A Promising Strategy for Youth Development.- Gates Foundation).
Those numbers are lives. Those statistics have faces. Friends, now is the time for us to look at some potentially tough stories around us and rather than shake our head and declare that life is bad, instead, decide to tell a better story. John Sowers said, "This generation has been wounded the most in relationships- it is in relationships where the healing must begin." Mentors are heroes who can rewrite the story. We are striving to do just that at Stephens Elementary through a mentoring journey we launched this year called MENT2BE. For years, we sat in faculty meetings, mourning and grieving over many students who struggled and faced numerous obstacles and challenges academically, emotionally, and relationally. We always found ourselves saying, " What if that kid had a champion or a mentor?" What if he or she had an adult who would simply invest and build into just them over the course of the school year? Good intentions and heart never translated to an intentional plan or action. I began to feel very convicted that I was called to create a framework for mentoring to finally be unleashed in our school. A year and a half later, I spent a large part of the summer having informational gatherings in the community with potential interested mentors to cast vision, discuss commitment and opportunity as well as walk through the MENT2BE structure. This fall, we launched MENT2BE with currently over 40 mentors and mentees and expect that number to grow to between 75-100 later this year.
Many of our students remind me of "Teddy."
There is a story many years ago of an elementary teacher. Her name was Mrs. Thompson. And as she stood in front of her 5th grade class on the very first day of school, she told the children a lie. Like most teachers, she looked at her students and said that she loved them all the same. But that was impossible, because there in the front row, slumped in his seat, was a little boy named Teddy Stoddard.
Mrs. Thompson had watched Teddy the year before and noticed that he didn’t play well with the other children, that his clothes were messy and that he constantly needed a bath. And Teddy could be unpleasant.
It got to the point where Mrs. Thompson would actually take delight in marking his papers with a broad red pen, making bold X’s and then putting a big F at the top of his papers.
At the school where Mrs. Thompson taught, she was required to review each child’s past records and she put Teddy’s off until last.
However, when she reviewed his file, she was in for a surprise.
Teddy’s first grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is a bright child with a ready laugh. He does his work neatly and has good manners...he is a joy to be around."
His second grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is an excellent student, well-liked by his classmates, but he is troubled because his mother has a terminal illness and life at home must be a struggle."
His third grade teacher wrote, "His mother’s death has been hard on him. He tries to do his best but his father doesn’t show much interest and his home life will soon affect him if some steps aren’t taken."
Teddy’s fourth grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is withdrawn and doesn’t show much interest in school. He doesn’t have many friends and sometimes sleeps in class."
By now, Mrs. Thompson realized the problem and she was ashamed of herself. She felt even worse when her students brought her Christmas presents, wrapped in beautiful ribbons and bright paper,except for Teddy’s.
His present was clumsily wrapped in the heavy, brown paper that he got from a grocery bag. Mrs. Thompson took pains to open it in the middle of the other presents. Some of the children started to laugh when she found a rhinestone bracelet with some of the stones missing and a bottle that was one quarter full of perfume.
But she stifled the children’s laughter when she exclaimed how pretty the bracelet was, putting it on, and dabbing some of the perfume on her wrist.
Teddy Stoddard stayed after school that day just long enough to say, "Mrs. Thompson, today you smelled just like my Mom used to."
After the children left she cried for at least an hour. On that very day, she quit teaching reading, and writing, and arithmetic. Instead, she began to teach children. Mrs. Thompson paid particular attention to Teddy.
As she worked with him, his mind seemed to come alive The more she encouraged him, the faster he responded. By the end of the year, Teddy had become one of the smartest children in the class and, despite her lie that she would love all the children the same, Teddy became one of her "teacher’s pets."
A year later, she found a note under her door, from Teddy, telling her that she was still the best teacher he ever had in his whole life.
Six years went by before she got another note from Teddy. He then wrote that he had finished high school, third in his class, and she was still the best teacher he ever had in his whole life.
Four years after that, she got another letter, saying that while things had been tough at times, he’d stayed in school, had stuck with it,and would soon graduate from college with the highest of honors. He assured Mrs. Thompson that she was still the best and favorite teacher he ever had in his whole life.
Then four more years passed and yet another letter came. This time he explained that after he got his bachelor’s degree, he decided to go a little further. The letter explained that she was still the best and favorite teacher he ever had. But now his name was a little longer. The letter was signed, Theodore F. Stoddard, M.D.
The story doesn’t end there. You see, there was yet another letter that spring. Teddy said he’d met this girl and was going to be married. He explained that his father had died a couple of years ago and he was wondering if Mrs. Thompson might agree to sit in the place at the wedding that was usually reserved for the mother of the groom.
Of course, Mrs. Thompson did. And guess what? She wore that bracelet, the one with several rhinestones missing. And she made sure she was wearing the perfume that Teddy remembered his mother wearing on their last Christmas together.
They hugged each other, and Dr. Stoddard whispered in Mrs. Thompson's ear, "Thank you, Mrs. Thompson, for believing in me. Thank you so much for making me feel important and showing me that I could make a difference."
Mrs. Thompson, with tears in her eyes, whispered back. She said, "Teddy, you have it all wrong. You were the one who taught me that I could make a difference. I didn't know how to teach until I met you."
At Stephens Elementary, MENT2BE is allowing us to become intentional in identifying and seeing Teddy, but most of all, loving and believing in Teddy. Our mentors are called COACHES and their mentees are called their PLAYERS. Coaches connect weekly with their players over lunch, recess, tutoring sessions, reading sessions, and more. They then connect quarterly for HUDDLEBRATIONS, where all HOME TEAMS (Coach, Player, Parent(s)) come together for a night of celebration and building community. The vision of MENT2BE is very simple:
MENT2BE is not a program but a relationship where an adult invests in the life of one student and becomes a game changer in the life of that child, helping him or her to BELONG, BELIEVE, and BECOME all they were meant to be,
Here are some pictures from our first HUDDLEBRATION kick off where Coaches. Players, and Home Teams were able to meet for the first time and kick off the relationship!
We have students in our lives daily who hurt and struggle as well as face daily challenges; we try to reassure them that we care, that we believe in them, and that we have a hope for their life and future. However, I think many of those students need much more than just our words; they need hope with skin on. Research tells us that kids who have a mentor are 52% less likely to drop out of school, 46% less likely to use drugs, 52% less likely to exhibit violent behavior, and teen pregnancy is reduced by 35%. In terms of educational achievement, mentored youth have better school attendance and a better chance of going on to higher education. On the social and developmental front, taking part in mentoring practices promotes positive attitudes and relationships (Child Trends: Mentoring: A Promising Strategy for Youth Development.- Gates Foundation).
Those numbers are lives. Those statistics have faces. Friends, now is the time for us to look at some potentially tough stories around us and rather than shake our head and declare that life is bad, instead, decide to tell a better story. John Sowers said, "This generation has been wounded the most in relationships- it is in relationships where the healing must begin." Mentors are heroes who can rewrite the story. We are striving to do just that at Stephens Elementary through a mentoring journey we launched this year called MENT2BE. For years, we sat in faculty meetings, mourning and grieving over many students who struggled and faced numerous obstacles and challenges academically, emotionally, and relationally. We always found ourselves saying, " What if that kid had a champion or a mentor?" What if he or she had an adult who would simply invest and build into just them over the course of the school year? Good intentions and heart never translated to an intentional plan or action. I began to feel very convicted that I was called to create a framework for mentoring to finally be unleashed in our school. A year and a half later, I spent a large part of the summer having informational gatherings in the community with potential interested mentors to cast vision, discuss commitment and opportunity as well as walk through the MENT2BE structure. This fall, we launched MENT2BE with currently over 40 mentors and mentees and expect that number to grow to between 75-100 later this year.
Many of our students remind me of "Teddy."
There is a story many years ago of an elementary teacher. Her name was Mrs. Thompson. And as she stood in front of her 5th grade class on the very first day of school, she told the children a lie. Like most teachers, she looked at her students and said that she loved them all the same. But that was impossible, because there in the front row, slumped in his seat, was a little boy named Teddy Stoddard.
Mrs. Thompson had watched Teddy the year before and noticed that he didn’t play well with the other children, that his clothes were messy and that he constantly needed a bath. And Teddy could be unpleasant.
It got to the point where Mrs. Thompson would actually take delight in marking his papers with a broad red pen, making bold X’s and then putting a big F at the top of his papers.
At the school where Mrs. Thompson taught, she was required to review each child’s past records and she put Teddy’s off until last.
However, when she reviewed his file, she was in for a surprise.
Teddy’s first grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is a bright child with a ready laugh. He does his work neatly and has good manners...he is a joy to be around."
His second grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is an excellent student, well-liked by his classmates, but he is troubled because his mother has a terminal illness and life at home must be a struggle."
His third grade teacher wrote, "His mother’s death has been hard on him. He tries to do his best but his father doesn’t show much interest and his home life will soon affect him if some steps aren’t taken."
Teddy’s fourth grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is withdrawn and doesn’t show much interest in school. He doesn’t have many friends and sometimes sleeps in class."
By now, Mrs. Thompson realized the problem and she was ashamed of herself. She felt even worse when her students brought her Christmas presents, wrapped in beautiful ribbons and bright paper,except for Teddy’s.
His present was clumsily wrapped in the heavy, brown paper that he got from a grocery bag. Mrs. Thompson took pains to open it in the middle of the other presents. Some of the children started to laugh when she found a rhinestone bracelet with some of the stones missing and a bottle that was one quarter full of perfume.
But she stifled the children’s laughter when she exclaimed how pretty the bracelet was, putting it on, and dabbing some of the perfume on her wrist.
Teddy Stoddard stayed after school that day just long enough to say, "Mrs. Thompson, today you smelled just like my Mom used to."
After the children left she cried for at least an hour. On that very day, she quit teaching reading, and writing, and arithmetic. Instead, she began to teach children. Mrs. Thompson paid particular attention to Teddy.
As she worked with him, his mind seemed to come alive The more she encouraged him, the faster he responded. By the end of the year, Teddy had become one of the smartest children in the class and, despite her lie that she would love all the children the same, Teddy became one of her "teacher’s pets."
A year later, she found a note under her door, from Teddy, telling her that she was still the best teacher he ever had in his whole life.
Six years went by before she got another note from Teddy. He then wrote that he had finished high school, third in his class, and she was still the best teacher he ever had in his whole life.
Four years after that, she got another letter, saying that while things had been tough at times, he’d stayed in school, had stuck with it,and would soon graduate from college with the highest of honors. He assured Mrs. Thompson that she was still the best and favorite teacher he ever had in his whole life.
Then four more years passed and yet another letter came. This time he explained that after he got his bachelor’s degree, he decided to go a little further. The letter explained that she was still the best and favorite teacher he ever had. But now his name was a little longer. The letter was signed, Theodore F. Stoddard, M.D.
The story doesn’t end there. You see, there was yet another letter that spring. Teddy said he’d met this girl and was going to be married. He explained that his father had died a couple of years ago and he was wondering if Mrs. Thompson might agree to sit in the place at the wedding that was usually reserved for the mother of the groom.
Of course, Mrs. Thompson did. And guess what? She wore that bracelet, the one with several rhinestones missing. And she made sure she was wearing the perfume that Teddy remembered his mother wearing on their last Christmas together.
They hugged each other, and Dr. Stoddard whispered in Mrs. Thompson's ear, "Thank you, Mrs. Thompson, for believing in me. Thank you so much for making me feel important and showing me that I could make a difference."
Mrs. Thompson, with tears in her eyes, whispered back. She said, "Teddy, you have it all wrong. You were the one who taught me that I could make a difference. I didn't know how to teach until I met you."
At Stephens Elementary, MENT2BE is allowing us to become intentional in identifying and seeing Teddy, but most of all, loving and believing in Teddy. Our mentors are called COACHES and their mentees are called their PLAYERS. Coaches connect weekly with their players over lunch, recess, tutoring sessions, reading sessions, and more. They then connect quarterly for HUDDLEBRATIONS, where all HOME TEAMS (Coach, Player, Parent(s)) come together for a night of celebration and building community. The vision of MENT2BE is very simple:
MENT2BE is not a program but a relationship where an adult invests in the life of one student and becomes a game changer in the life of that child, helping him or her to BELONG, BELIEVE, and BECOME all they were meant to be,
Here are some pictures from our first HUDDLEBRATION kick off where Coaches. Players, and Home Teams were able to meet for the first time and kick off the relationship!
In just weeks since the launch of MENT2BE, the stories that we are hearing are so moving, powerful, and affirm the urgency of mentoring children. A kindergarten student who lost his dad and his grandpa in the past year and is being raised by his grandmother said, "When my Coach comes to see me, it kind of feels like I have a dad again." This is exactly why we are committed and passionate about tackling fatherlessness; extending hands to parents who have their hands up in defeat; reaching out to single moms who are exhausted and confused to let them know we see them and we hear them; to be........Hope With Skin On.
For more info on MENT2BE, reach out to me at the following:
Twitter: @laughwithchad
Voxer: @laughwithchad
Follow MENT2BE:
Facebook: www.facebook.com/ment2beprogram
Twitter: @gochangealife